Fun In The Sun
by Mouko
Summary: The kids at Skool are heading to the beach for a break from the misery that is Bitters.  But what happens when an alien that's afraid of water comes facetoface with the largest body of water on Earth? ZAGR! Complete
1. What's A Beach?

Warning: Yes, I said it'd be short... but... I never do anything short, apparently. :P ANYWAY! Here's the first part! HEHEHE! And yes, it's ZAGR and some humorous poking at Dib. I'm hoping you'll enjoy it, even if you don't like the pairing. 

Chapter One: What's A Beach? 

The bell rang, singing out its announcement that skool had begun. Students piled in to their classrooms, muttering dejectedly as the day promised to be as mind-numbing as any other skool day. 

Zim didn't even bother to feign interest as he sat down in his seat and instantly pulled out a pencil to chew on it. Dib sat in his own chair, absently doodling a picture of Zim. Much like all the other pictures that Dib did during Ms. Bitters' rants, his current masterpiece contained a bound Zim, floating in a test tube as Dib poked him with a stick while wearing a triumphant grin on his face. 

The day promised to be very boring until, most unexpectedly, Ms. Bitters arched forward and let out a displeased hiss. The students sat straight up in alarm as she glared at them, obviously displeased. 

"I have an announcement today," Ms. Bitters snarled. Zim blinked and tilted his head while Dib rested his chin against his palm and fixed Ms. Bitters with an unimpressed gaze. 

"What? That we're all doomed?" he inquired, sarcastically. Ms. Bitters hissed at him, which he hardly reacted to, then returned her gaze to the class. 

"In another doomed, pathetic attempt to reduce misery... the entire skool is going on a field trip tomorrow," she said, her voice giving away the fact that she had no desire to reduce misery for anyone. Ms. Bitters leered about as numerous students cheered enthusiastically. 

Dib was not so easily fooled and glanced at Zim, accusingly. Zim didn't bother to return the glance as he stared at Ms. Bitters, blankly. 

"We shall go to...," Ms. Bitters paused and glared about, almost daring the students, before she returned to her original position. "... the BEACH. So pack appropriately. Bring sun block to protect your fragile doomed bodies from the cold, harsh, destructive, merciless sun," 

Zim stared blankly, uncomprehending, as a huge grin crossed Dib's face. Zim blinked twice, then turned to see Dib's wicked grin which hinted that he knew something the Irken did not. Students squealed with delight and talked to each other, eagerly, while Ms. Bitters scowled with obvious disgust. 

"Yes... cheer... let us see if you cheer after the great destroyer that is the ocean drags you in to its depths where you are devoured by vampire sharks and squids," Ms. Bitters spat. However, the students were all but ignoring her at that moment. She paused, then shrugged and sat down in her desk. "Let us continue our doomed lesson...," she grumbled, then proceeded to ramble about the doomed effects of food poisoning. Almost instantly, the room went quiet as the children started drooling like zombies at the sound of Ms. Bitters' droning voice. 

Zim glared, suspiciously, at Dib. He disliked the fact that Dib looked so innocent and yet so evil. Zim arched an invisible eyebrow, as if asking Dib to explain why he was so happy, but quickly found that Dib had no interest in doing so. Dib, instead, chose to feign interest in Ms. Bitters' lecture while casting Zim an insanely smug grin. 

The Irken fixed Dib with a poisonous glare, then sulkily returned to chewing on his pencil. 

Time passed very slowly. Hours ticked along, tormenting Zim as he suffered through Dib's smug grins and the fact that Dib knew something he did not. Eventually, much to the delight of the students, the bell eventually rang once more to release the brain damaged students from their cells. 

Ms. Btters paused as the bell rang in her ears, then curled up her lips in a snarl. 

"... LEAVE," she barked. 

Zim stood up and walked out of the room, proudly, as he waited for the inevitable confrontation between himself and Dib. 

Like clockwork, Dib walked up behind him and snickered. 

"Make sure you bring your SWIM TRUNKS tomorrow, ZIM," he breathed. Zim raised his head even higher and snorted. 

"Foolish human," he sneered. "Only elephants have trunks!" 

"I'm going to enjoy tomorrow's field trip," Dib continued, practically purring as he walked alongside Zim. Zim cast Dib a disgusted glare, but the human seemed to ignore it utterly. "AND I'm going to bring my camera and plenty of film," 

"Good, stupid beast," Zim waved a claw, dismissively. "I care little about you and your stupid human bitch," 

"BEACH, Zim," Dib smirked. 

"... That's what I said!" Zim retorted, hotly. Dib chuckled, which only infuriated Zim even more. 

"You'll care, oh yes you will. I know what to bring to the beach and what it is, and when everyone sees how you react to this trip... they'll KNOW you're an alien!" he declared. Zim paused and fixed Dib with a suspicious look. 

"What is so important about this beech anyway!?" he demanded. 

"You'll see," Dib smiled, mysteriously. The smile alone set off warning bells in the Irken's head. 

"... And supposing I fall ill tomorrow? Oh! What terrible pain I feel! I must be sick with some MEATBAG DISEASE!" Zim inquired, dynamically. 

"Even better!" Dib's grin increased ahundred fold. "No one EVER gets sick when they get an offer to go to the BEACH! If you skip then EVERYONE will know something is weird with you! And from there... it's not a far trip away from your carcas being strapped down on to a table and MY name on your autopsy tape," 

Zim felt his skin pale slightly, but he quickly hid it and glared defiantly at the human. 

"I shall go to this... BEEOCH... and I shall... BE NORMAL!" he announced, pointing a claw at Dib's face. Dib glanced at Zim, chuckling evilly. 

"Start with trying to figure out how to say it right, ZIM," he mocked. Zim quivered with rage, then strode forward a couple steps before snapping about to face Dib once more. 

"I SHALL NOT BE DEFEATED BY A STUPID MONKEY!" he screamed. He took a few more steps, then stopped in the middle of the doorway and turned to point a claw at Dib. "... WITH A TITANIC HEAD!" he finished. 

Dib's eyes widened, before narrowing with anger. 

"... My head is not titanic!" he growled. 

"INTERGALATIC!" Zim retorted. 

"... WHY YOU!" 

Zim yelped and leapt out of the way as Dib lunged at him. He quickly darted down the stairs to the sidewalk, jeering back at the irritated human. 

"Your head shall be named a planet soon enough! Nay! A GALAXY! A UNIVERSE!" he cried. 

"MY HEAD IS NOT BIG!" Dib shrieked, chasing after Zim. "COME BACK HERE, YOU ALIEN!" 

"Indeed," Zim agreed. "It is not BIG. It is simply... HUMONGOUS!" 

The two ran down the sidewalk as Zim cackled, pleased with himself for discovering such a sensitive button to jab in the human's psyche. He grinned as Dib chased him, shouting threats and insults as well as denials concerning the size of his head. 

"I'LL GET YOU, ZIM! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME, YOU ZIM... ZIMMY... THING!" 

Zim glanced back and sneered. 

"NEVER, BIG HUMONGOUS TITANIC GALACTIC GARGANTUAN BIG HEADED PERSON!" 

"MY HEAD IS NOT THAT BIG!" 

"IT'S EVEN BIGGER!" 

"IT IS NOT!" 

"OH, BUT IT IISSSSSSSSSSSSSS! So... very... BIG!" 

"AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE SPORES!" 

"NO... you have... HUMONGOUS DANDRUFF!" 

"I DO NOT!" 

"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS...," 

"COME BACK HERE, ALIEN!" 

"So you might crush me with your HEAD?! NEVER!" 

"STOP SAYING MY HEAD'S BIG!" 

"BUT IT IS! IT IS... BIG! SO VERY BIG!" 

"IT'S NO BIGGER THAN YOURS!" 

"... If you inflated my head to the size of a mountain!" 

"I'LL GET YOU, ZIM!" 

"YOU SHALL NOT!" 

Zim quickly jumped up a fence and ran over the hedge, cackling as Dib followed while seething with such anger that his entire face was red. Zim zipped along the hedge, then turned about and jumped on to a bus as it drove by. He grabbed on to the slick, metal roof as best he could and sneered over his shoulder at Dib. 

"HAH!" 

Dib, not to be outdone, charged after and lunged as well. He almost missed the bus, but managed to grab the very edge and slowly heft himself up. He gulped for air, then adjusted his glasses and sneered back at Zim. 

"HA HAH!" 

Zim paused, then suddenly used his feet to spring off of the bus. He flipped in the air, then grabbed on to a street lamp. He dangled, precariously, and smirked at Dib. 

"HA HA HAH!" 

Zim stopped laughing and let out a terrified squeak when Dib leaped after him. Dib missed the lamp but managed to grab on to Zim's midsection. He wrapped his arms tightly around Zim, grinning wolfishly. 

"I'VE GOT YOU NOW, ZIM!" he crowed. Zim squirmed violently and kicked at Dib, sputtering with rage. 

"RELEASE ME!" he commanded. 

"NEVER!" Dib laughed, holding on tightly. Zim squirmed a bit more, then blinked and smirked evilly. With a cry of triumph, he let go of the lamp. Dib stared, startled, then let out a cry of pain as Zim used him as a landing pad when the duo hit the sidewalk. Dib whimpered in pain, arching his back slightly, as Zim took off running. 

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! FOOLISH STINKBEAST!" 

Dib moaned and raised a fist in the air, shaking it weakly as he remained lying on the sidewalk. 

"I'LL GET YOU TOMORROW, ZIM! Just... JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE!" 


	2. The Incredible Singing Zim!

Warning: BWAHAHA! Here's the next part! 

Yuki's been helping me by RPing ideas with me (YUKIYUKIYUKIYUKIYUUUKIIIIIIIIIII). She's my muse and great for curing writer's block! XD She's also my beta (along with Daimera) and they're always there, threatening to DOOM ME if I don't write more. Say THANK YOU to Yuki and Daimera! 

On a darker note... I understand that everyone's upset about what has happened. I'm just as horrified as you are that Nick would do something so hideous. But we've got to keep hope and keep trying to save Invader Zim. The petition (at here, for those who don't know: http://www.petitiononline.com/izlovers/petition.html) is a good way to band together. Over 15,000 signatures, last I looked. Until we get Nick to change its attitude, I'm going to continue writing. I won't give up just because they're idiots. In fact, it's even more important that I write now because, as I keep saying, laughter and fanfics arewhat we need most right now. Keep the hope, guys... we're like Fab. Too stubborn to die, and more than willing to take people out with us. 

Chapter Two: The Incredible Singing Zim! 

Zim glanced about, warily, as he stood in front of the large skool bus. He felt vaguely conspicuous from the crowd of children, all of whom had backpacks filled with their beach supplies. Zim's own supplies rested in his Irken backpack, but he couldn't point out such a fact to the children who would randomly inquire if he had forgotten his equipment before boarding the bus with bright, cheerful grins. 

Dib stood by Gaz, who looked mildly displaced without her Game Slave. She couldn't bring it to the beach, as the salt water might hurt its circuitry. Such a risk far outweighed a few hours of boredom. Their bags rested by their feet, idly discarded, as the two waited for the stampede to get on the bus to subside. 

Seeing his rival with a bag made Zim realize that he needed a human backpack or else stand out even worse. He glanced around, then noticed a backpack that was unguarded by the bus. He approached it, trying to avoid Dib's detection, and glanced around. 

"HEY BUDDY!" 

Zim jumped with a gasp, then whirled to stare at Keef. 

"WHAT ARE YOU-," Zim choked. 

"I'm going to the beach!" Keef replied. Zim stared in alarm, then paused and glanced at the backpack. 

"Is that yours?" he asked, almost sweetly. 

"YEP! That's my backpack," Keef grinned. Zim turned to grin evilly at Keef. 

"I... seeeee," he purred. "Keef, will you come here for a second?" 

"Of course!" Keef giggled, happily. Zim smiled, ever so sweetly, and walked around the back of the bus. Keef followed, humming merrily. As soon as Keef disappeared from sight, a loud crash issued forth. A splash followed almost immediately after. 

Zim beamed, happily, and replaced the manhole cover. With slow, triumphant steps, Zim walked back around to the other side of the bus and grabbed Keef's backpack. After slipping the backpack over his shoulder, Zim strode forward towards the bus door. 

Dib blinked, then fixed Zim with an evil grin as he noticed the Irken approach. He quickly cut off Zim, who glared at him, and walked on to the bus. He sat down on the right side of the bus, which instantly opened up as every other child made to sit on the other side. 

Indifferent, Gaz sat down next to Dib and pulled out a hideously graphic comic book, its title written in illuminescient red letters that spelled out "VAMPIRE DEATH BEAST MOO". 

Zim slinked on to the bus, trying to act indifferent, and glanced about. Due to the sheer number of the student body, every single seat was filled. So filled, in fact, that many seats were forced to contain three or four students a piece. There was no room to breath, let alone move. Zim blinked repeatedly, then cackled and pointed at the children. 

"FOOLISH STINKBESTS! YOU SHALL BE SMOOSHED UPON THAT SIDE OF THE BUS! May your underwear ride!" he giggled. Oblivious to the wierded out stares the children fixed him, Zim walked to the back of the bus and sat down in one of the numerous empty seats. He put down 'his' backpack and reclined, sighing happily. 

"Aaaah... so much ROOM," he purred. "So VERY ROOMY," 

Some of the children blinked, then squirmed with an irritated mutter. 

Dib turned his head to fix Zim with a vicious grin. A thought slowly crossed the human's mind, causing his grin to widen even further. He stood up, casually, walked to the other side of the bus. Sensing what was about to happen, Gaz continued to read her comic as she grabbed her bag and walked to the front of the bus. 

Staring in alarm, Zim could only squeak before the entire student body moved to sit on the opposite side away from Dib. After the ensuing stampede, Zim found himself packed in his seat even more tightly than a can of sardines. 

Casually, Dib sat on the empty side near the back of the bus, allowing himself a better view of the smooshed Zim. Gaz sat down next to him once more, looking totally indifferent. 

"Enjoying your seat, Zim?" Dib practically purred. Zim glared, venomously, at Dib and forced himself to smile brightly. 

"OF COURSE! I love the smell of DIRTY, STINKY, STINKBEAST BODY ODOR," he spat. "Atleast its better than sitting behind your titanic head!" 

Dib flushed and stood up, slowly. He moved next to the isle where Zim's seat rested, blocking all exit. In response, the children moved further in to get away from Dib. Zim let out a pained squeak as he was crushed against the window. 

"... TITANIC HEAD!" Zim repeated, pained. "IS HIS HEAD NOT HUGE?!" 

"... well, it IS rather large...," one of the children whispered. 

"GIGANTIC!" Zim agreed. Dib's eyes narrowed with rage as he leaned closer, prompting the children to scoot farther away and smash Zim even more. 

"MY HEAD IS NOT THAT BIG," Dib snarled. Zim twitched, eyes widening as he began to turn colors. 

"Crushed... organs... aaaugh...," he whimpered. However, he managed to fix Dib with a poisonous gaze. "IT... is not just BIG... it is... SUPER... DUPER... HUMONGO... MEGA... JUMBO LARGE!" he shrieked. 

Dib turned a brilliant shade of red, then leaned over to glare right in Zim's face. 

"It... is... NOT," Dib hissed. Zim returned the glare, trying desperately not to show that he was in pain. 

"IT IS," he breathed, his voice sounding demonic. 

"IT IS NOT!" Dib screamed. 

"SHADDAP BACK THERE AND GET IN YER SEAT! WE'RE GONNA GET GOING TO THE BEACH NOW!" the bus driver roared from up front. Dib glanced up at the bus driver, then scowled and returned to his seat. The children relaxed a bit, giving Zim a bit more breathing room. He gulped down air, then turned to sneer at Dib. He pointed, dynamically, at the fuming human. 

"OH! How very large your head is! You need your own side of the bus due to the sheer size of it!" he crowed. "THERE IS NO ROOM FOR OTHERSSSSSS!" 

Some of the children snickered as Dib shivered with rage from his seat. 

"You'll get yours, Zim... Mark my words...," he seethed. 

"AND YOUR HEAD!? HOW CAN ONE MISS IT?" Zim called. Children burst out laughing, while others giggled insanely. 

"MY HEAD IS NOT BIG!" Dib growled. However, Zim knew a weakspot when he saw one. Suddenly, he squirmed up and held out his arms in a dramatic pose. 

"Dib, Dib, Dib has a very big head! A very big head has heeeee! It is bigger than a rock, it is bigger than a car, it is bigger than a RED WOOD TREEEE!" he sang, his voice reaching rather high notes. 

From her seat, Gaz chuckled quietly. Dib trembled with rage, digging his fingers in to his seat. 

"Dib, Dib, Dib had a vey big head! Everyone knew it, too! So big were his ears, so big were his nose, so big you can drive a train right throoough!" Zim continued, gesturing proudly. All of the children began to giggle as Dib slowly turned to glare at Zim, unable to think of a comeback. 

"EVERYBODY!" Zim cried, gesturing the children to join in. "Dib, Dib, Dib had a very big head! A very big head had heeee! It is bigger than a rock, it is bigger than a car, it is bigger than a red wood treeeee!" Zim cried, his voice mingling as the entire student body broke in to song. Gaz chuckled even louder as the children soon began singing on their own, leaving Zim to grin viciously at Dib. 

"Dib, Dib, Dib had a very big head! Everyone knew it, too! So big were his ears, so big were his nose, so big you can drive a train right throoough!" the children sang, happily. 

"MY HEAD IS NOT THAT BIG!" Dib protested. Zim cackled, beyond pleased as the children sang loudly. Smirking, he turned to look out the window and went deathly pale. Dib blinked, then grinned wickedly as Zim's expression grew freaked. 

Sand stretched along the road as far as the eye could see, bordering the massive body of water that was the ocean. Sparkling waves rolled, crashing across the pure white beaches, as beach-goers played in the surf. 

Zim had never seen so much water in his life. 

Zim felt his Irken pulse pounding through his body as the children continued to sing, oblivious to the Irken's plight. Only Dib noticed how truly freaked out Zim had become and was quickly taking pictures with his camera. 

Zim clutched 'his' backpack to his chest, shaking violently as his lower jaw quivered. He paused and turned to stare at Dib, seeing his evil smirk and his camera posed for pictures. 

"What's wrong, ZIM?" Dib snickered, happily. He was no longer phased by the song, as the sight of Zim looking terrified was too delicious to pass up. 

"Other than your giant head? NO," Zim grunted, weakly. He looked back out the window and bit his lower lip. "WATER... a beach has WATER," he thought, frantically. 

"How about it, ZIM?" Dib grinned. "Let's go in to THE WATER... together!" 

"... I shall pass! I would like a tan instead! YESSS!" Zim retorted, trying to fight down his urge to scream. 

"What's the matter, ZIM? Afraid of the water?" Dib asked, innocently. 

"NO," Zim replied. "I simply desire a tan! OH, SUCH A TAN I SHALL HAVE! It shall be a tan to rvial all others! IT WILL BE... MARVELOUS," 

"What color do you change when you get a tan, ZIM? EMERALD?" Dib arched an eyebrow. 

"... I would imagine a nice toasty, human tan-like color," Zim replied. "As I am quite human and perfectly normal," 

"Just watch out for sunburn, Zim," 

"Thank you for your concern," Zim grunted, eying Dib suspiciously. Dib tilted his head and smiled, sweetly. 

"Sunburn can fry your skin to a blackened crisp and light your hair on fire, you know," he said, casually. He lifted up his camera and sneered. "And then I'll get a picture of you without your disguise!" 

Zim paused, blinking repeatedly, and then shrugged. 

"I'll simply sit in the shade created by your head if that starts to happen," he replied. 

"... Well, I'm not going to BE on the beach! I'm going to be in the WATER thinking of ways to have the waves ad undertow suck you in!" Dib growled. 

"How kind of you, Dib, to supply your head as a water toy for all the poor human wormbabies!" Zim observed. "I imagine the entire bus could fit!" 

Gaz snickered as Dib glared. At that moment, the bus came to a stop. Ms. Bitters appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, and glared at the children. 

"Go... frolic... BURN... then return to the bus in a few hours. If you're not eaten," she grunted. With a cheer, the children forgot their song and rushed off the bus towards the surf. Ms. Bitters watched them run, then growled and disappeared in to the shadows like a phantom. 

Zim waited for the children to empty the bus, then slowly made his way to the door. As he neared it, Dib suddenly appeared behind him and shoved him off the bus steps. Zim yowled as he went tumbling, then landed at the foot of the steps. He groaned with pain, then yelped as Dib leapt down from the top of the steps and landed on him. 

"See you in the water, ZIM," Dib snickered, then wiped his feet on Zim and walked towards the changing booths. Zim growled and fumbled up, dusting himself off. 

Gaz walked out of the bus, the very last student to leave, and put her comic book in her backpack. She looked up as Zim waved his fist after Dib. 

"COWARD BIG HEAD CHILD!" 

Dib stuck his tongue out at Zim. 

"STUPID AQUAPHOBIC ALIEN!" 

Zim quivered and muttered under his breath, oblivious to Gaz as she stood directly behind him. She opened an eye and regarded him, quietly. Her eye shut once more and she proceeded to walk past Zim to the changing booths, where Dib had allready entered to get into his beach wear. Zim glanced around, then wearily headed towards the booths and waited for Dib to leave. Gaz slipped in to the women's side, quiet and calm as the eye of a hurricane. 

Zim blinked after Gaz, then turned to glance at Dib as the human left the booth. Dib wore a black wetsuit, complete with goggles in the place of his glasses and a number of high tech beach gear. Dib paused, then sneered at Zim. 

"Remember your swim trunks, ZIM?" he grinned. 

"... I see you remembered your bathing suit for your head," Zim retorted before striding past Dib in to the booth. Dib glared after Zim, then headed towards the water and started to mess with his devices. He cackled, devilishly, to himself as he worked. 

After a few minutes, Zim slipped out of the changing booths. A pair of adorable red swim trunks and a matching red tank top covered his lean body, his small yet well developed muscles on display for all to see. His false clowlick dangled over one baby blue eye as he re-adjusted his wig. Zim glanced about him, slightly disgusted, and proceeded to choose a spot as far away from the water as possible. He placed down his bright red towel and proceeded to sit on it. 

At that moment, Gaz slipped out of the changing booth. She wore an itty, bitty black bikini, her skull necklace, a pair of dark black shades, and a pair of matching black sandals. She grunted, carrying the rest of her gear in her bag, and proceeded out in to the open. Eyes turned to stare at her in shock as she moved, an image of deadly beauty. 

Even Zim noticed Gaz's appearance as he turned to stare, rather shocked. Even though he was an alien, the language of curves and bust was not lost on him. Dib was the only male who didn't notice Gaz's appearance, though such was to be expected as she was his sister. 

Indifferent to the stares, Gaz glanced about for a place to set her gear. Spying a spot next to Zim, she proceeded to walk over and open a very large black umbrella. She put it down in the sand, grunting with satisfaction as it blocked out almost all of the sun's light. She rolled out a large black beach blanket with a skull embroidered on it, then sat down on it. She cracked her neck, idly, and pulled out a case of SPF 100,000 sunblock. 

Gaz glanced at Zim, arching a brow behind the thick shades. Zim let out a tiny squeak and glanced skyward, trying to appear casual. Gaz shrugged, then started to apply sunblock to her body. 

Zim peered, warily, at Gaz out of the corner of his eye before letting out a dejected sigh. He grabbed his own bottle of sunblock, which was actually a concoction of sunblock and paste. He glared at the bottle, balefully, and slipped off his tank top so he could apply it. His lithe, yet muscular chest rippled with the movement. Gaz stopped to look at Zim, eyebrows arched once more. 

A collective noise issued as people fell over, blood gushing from their nose. Even Dib sputtered, hands clamped firmly over his face. Only Gaz was visibly unaffected. 

Gaz tilted her head, then held out her sunblock to Zim. 

"Put sunblock on my back, Zim," she grunted. Zim stopped to stare at Gaz. He knew all to well that Gaz never asked; she was to be obeyed. 

"YES SIR," Zim saluted, taking the bottle. He squirted the bottle, then began to rub the cold substance on to Gaz's back. Gaz made a pleased sound as she leaned back in to Zim. Zim worked in the lotion with his claws, with military-like efficiency. After a few moments, Gaz opened her eyes and turned to look at Zim. 

"... Now I'll do yours," 


	3. A Dooming Good Time

Warning: I... feel I should say something here but I have no idea what. o.o ... Okay then! Enjoy! 

Chapter Three: A Dooming Good Time 

Zim stared, blankly, at Gaz. Without waiting for a response, Gaz grabbed Zim's shoulders and twirled him about. Having done so, she grabbed Zim's sunblock/paste mixture. With a demonic purr, Gaz applied the lotion to Zim's bare back. Her fingers massaged his back, gentle and yet commanding. Zim boggled, slightly, then slowly relaxed as his expression grew dazed. Moments ticked away as Gaz worked, who seemed to be enjoying herself immensely. She continued to massage, even after his entire back was covered with the mixture. 

"You know, Zim...," Gaz's voice snaked its way in to Zim's consciousness, causing him to temporarily snap out of his state. "You need some lotion on your scalp and antennae, or they're going to fry under that wig of yours," 

Zim blinked repeatedly, then glanced warily about for Dib. 

"... Perhaps...," he grunted, then gasped as Gaz's fingers probed his muscles. A sinister grin crossed Gaz's face, causing all about her to quiver, as she continued to apply the lotion. 

It was then that Dib noticed exactly what Gaz and Zim were doing. He sat up with alarm, a tiny bit of blood dangling from his nose, and flailed. 

"ZIM! GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER RIGHT NOW!" he commanded. Zim jumped, startled, and blinked as Gaz made an irritated sound deep in her throat. 

"Ignore him," she growled, her fingers continuing their delicious manipulation. 

"Indeed," Zim replied, unsure of what else he could have said to Gaz. Gaz's twisted grin increased as her fingers worked their magic. A tiny yelp escaped Zim, followed by a shiver of delight. 

Dib charged toward Zim, wielding what looked like a giant squirt gun. However, he failed to remove his swimming flippers and soon found himself face first in the sand. 

Zim opened an eye and regarded Dib, icily. 

"... I pity the sand," 

Gaz snickered as her hands slipped up Zim's back and under his wig. Zim gasped at the sensation, then let out a throaty purr as her fingers gently rubbed his antennae. Dib was oblivious to the evil his sister was doing as he spat out sand, struggling to remove his flippers. 

Zim shivered, totally relaxed. He was like putty in Gaz's hand, totally malleable. Having finished her attentions to Zim's scalp, she removed her hands just as Dib kicked off his last flipper and whirled to face them. 

"GAZ!" Dib squealed. "RUN! There's an alien right next to you!" 

Gaz ignored Dib, rubbing Zim's neck and shoulders sensually. 

"Eeeeeee...," Zim sighed, happily. 

"GAZ! GET AWAY!" Dib repeated, frantically, as he darted towards them. 

"Go away, Dib," Gaz snarled, coldly. "I'm enjoying myself," 

"... B-but Gaz! He's an ALIEN! You KNOW that!" Dib stared, dumbfounded. 

"I know you're annoying me, so go back and play with the sharks or something," Gaz retorted. Zim grinned at Dib, then quickly grabbed Dib's water gun and proceeded to squirt him in the face. Dib yowled and sputtered, wiping at his face as he fumbled back. He glared at Zim, his face dripping with water, only to have Zim squirt him in the face a second time. 

"YOU ASKED FOR IT, ZIM!" Dib sputtered, attempting to grab the gun. 

"HAH!" Zim scoffed, flinging the gun away with a laugh. Dib's cheek twitched as his face burned with rage. 

"WHY YOU-!!" 

Dib lunged at Zim, hands posed to strangle him. Before he could reach, Gaz pushed a button on Dib's wetsuit belt. With a squeak, a giant inflatable rubber ducky innertube inflated about him. His lunge ended in a bounce, causing him to fly backwards with a shriek. 

Zim stared in confusion as Dib bounced towards the water, unable to get to his feet before he landed in the water with a titanic splash. Gaz chuckled at Dib's misfortune and continued to rub Zim's back. Zim glanced at her before breaking out with giddy laughter. Gaz continued to apply Zim's special sunblock and paste solution, massaging suggestively. Her hands slowly slipped to where the bathing suit started to cover. 

Zim let out a startled squeak, then shivered as a light blush tainted his emerald cheeks. 

"Mmmm," Gaz purred, sinisterly. "I never noticed before... when you're not being a stupid, weird alien... you're actually kind of cute." 

"Eh?" Zim blinked. "Zim does not act stupid or weird!" 

"You have a nice body, Zim," Gaz ignored Zim, smirking as she massaged him. "Do all of your wierd alien kind look as good as you?" 

"... Um..." 

Gaz made a soft pleased down deep in her throat as her hands went up and down Zim's sides, causing him to squeak with surprise. As she did, Dib finally managed to deflate the rubber ducky floation device and scrambled out of the water. He glanced at Zim and Gaz, then paled. 

"ZIM!!! GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER RIGHT NOW!" he yowled, angrily. Gaz ignored Dib, rubbing her hands along Zim's chest, pressing in to him from behind as she continued to apply the paste solution. 

Enraged at being ignored, Dib charged up the beach, taking a quick side-trip to get his squirt gun back from where Zim had thrown it. He then aimed the sandy gun at Zim and glared viciously. 

"GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER, ZIM!" Dib repeated, firmly. Zim turned to stare at Dib blankly as Gaz's cheek twitched. 

"... Go away, Dib." 

"I WON'T LET YOU DO YOUR EVIL... ICKY... ZIM... ZIMMY... EXPERIMENTS ON HER!" Dib snapped, as if Gaz hadn't spoken. Zim blinked slowly, then smirked. 

"Big head." 

Dib twitched, visibly, as his face turned red. 

"MY HEAD IS NOT BIG!" he shrieked before he pulled the trigger, spraying both Zim and Gaz with a burst of water. Zim yowled and covered his eyes, cringing slightly but thankfully safe due to the paste. 

Gaz blinked slowly and, after the initial shock wore off, glowered darkly at Dib as she dripped water from head to toe. Dib cringed under the hideous glare. 

"I'm trying to save you from the ALIEN, Gaz!" Dib yelped. 

"... I will destroy you." 

"Foolishness!" Zim cackled, dripping water but relatively unhurt. "That was mighty REFRESHING, stinkbeast!" 

Dib twitched again, then hissed and aimed the gun at Zim once more. 

"Oh really? Let's see how you deal with maximum pressure, ZIM!" he snarled. Zim paled as Dib smirked and pulled the trigger... 

... Only to have the powerful blast of water that erupted from the gun deflect off of Gaz's umbrella as she dropped it down to use as a shield. Dib glubbed and flailed as the water splattered back in his face, sending him tumbling in to the sand. 

Zim blinked, stunned, as Gaz replaced the umbrella in its original position to block the sun. Gaz sat back gowl and looked at Dib as she leaned back up against Zim, either to spite Dib or simply because. 

"Go away, Dib." 

"GAZ!" Dib's jaw dropped as his glasses dangled from one ear. "GET AWAY FROM HIM! There's no telling what he'll do to you!" 

Zim blushed, blinking at Dib. Suddenly, a smug smirk crossed his face and he leaned back in to Gaz. Dib sputtered, almost rabid. 

"GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER, ZIM!" he roared. Zim blinked, then tapped his jaw before smirking. 

"No." 

Dib aimed the squirt gun at Zim again, glaring dangerously. 

"I'm warning you." he hissed. Zim peered up at Dib, then stretched leisurely as Gaz smirked, massaging him still. 

"Nonsense, stinkbeast. Your sister's good with her HANDS and- EEEE!" Zim shivered as Gaz's hands slipped under the suit. "She is EVIL! Yessss... EVIL... like a MOOSE!" 

"GET AWAY FROM HIM, GAZ!" Dib cried. "It's for your own good!" 

"Dib, go away before I'm forced to destroy you," 

"... I tried!" Dib scowled and pulled the trigger. Zim yelped and ducked out of the way. However, Gaz was not so quick and looked up just in time to receive the full force of the watergun in her face. 

"... ...," Gaz slowly stood up as water trickled down her face. Dib blinked, then squeaked and backed away. 

"O-oops?" he laughed, nervously. 

"... That's it. I'm going to doom you." Gaz growled, her hair starting to flutter as a purple aura surrounded her. 

"Remember what dad said!" Dib yelped. "No dooming family!" 

Gaz paused, then smirked evilly. 

"I'm on vacation. No dooming rules don't apply." 

"... Damn." 

The sea churned violently as the skies grew dark. Other beach-goers paused to stare at the sky, bewildered. Lightning flashed as titanic waves started to surge upwards, rattling the boardwalk and boats out on the water. 

"Looks like a dooming," Ms. Bitters observed from under her giant umbrella, wearing her normal skool clothes as well as a large black sunhat. "Poor, pitiful children." 

"What are you doing?" Dib gasped. "You wouldn't doom your own brother, would you?!" 

"... Who else would I doom?" Gaz smirked. 

Dib paused, then glanced at the sky. He blinked repeatedly, then facefaulted. Upon the horizon, hundreds of large great white sharks flew through the air, batwings attached to their backs. Dib glanced at Gaz, calmly. 

"Sharks fly?" he asked, drolly. 

"No... but they do eat seals." Gaz replied. Dib crossed his arms. 

"What does that have to do with-," Dib paused when Gaz pointed at him. Dib glanced down to see his black wetsuit, then facefaulted again as he realized what she meant. "... Oh." 

"Have fun, Seal-Dib!" Zim cheered. 

Dib glared at Zim, then whirled and took off running just as the bizarre Doom Sharks dove towards him, snapping their jaws together. 

Zim blinked and watched as Dib darted along the beach, barely dodging the hungry Doom Sharks, then turned to look at Gaz. 

"Will those Doom Sharks eat the Dib human?" he asked, blinking. 

"No, just chew on him a little," Gaz shrugged as she sat back down, as dry as if she had never been squirted by the water gun. 

"Yesss...," Zim giggled. "They are as deadly as the DEATH BEE!" 

"... Right..." 

"Zim. Gaz," Ms. Bitters slithered up behind the two, appearing out of nowhere to glower down at them. "Due to the recent infestation of Doom Sharks, the field trip is canceled. Get back to the bus." 

"YES SIR!" Zim saluted. Ms. Bitters' cheek twitched as she turned and slithered away, like a shadow racing across the sands. Zim blinked as she disappeared, then stood up and sighed. "Just when I was beginning to like this bizzatch too!" 

"Beach, Zim." 

"... Yesss, that is what I said!" Zim nodded, sagely. The two ignored Dib's cries as the Doom Sharks gnawed on him, merrily. "But atleast there will be no more water!" 

"Besides that," Gaz replied as she grabbed her beach equipment and strolled, calmly, for the bus. "We can look forward to the bus ride back," 

"Oh?" Zim blinked. "Why would I enjoy that nasty bus of stinkbeasts?" 

"Because we're going to make out on the way back," Gaz replied as she headed for the booths. 

"What?" Zim blinked. "... ZIM? And a HYUUUUUMAN?" 

"Yes." Gaz replied. Zim crossed his arms and snorted, then suddenly posed dynamically and pointed skyward. 

"ZIM!? AN INVADER!? AND A HUMAN!? NEVER, stinkbeast! Do you hear me!? NEVERRRRR!" he cried, defiantly. 

Gaz paused as she walked and adjusted her bag, glancing back to fix him with a gaze. Children nearby burst out crying as they clung to their parents as pigeons fell dead under the force of the gaze. 

"Now, Zim." 

Zim blinked, then paled drastically. He whirled and saluted, smartly. 

"... SIR, YES SIR!" 

"Whatever." Gaz's cheek twitched as she walked back towards the changing booths and the bus. "Let's just go." 

"SIR, YES SIR!" Zim ran after Gaz, still saluting. "By the way," Zim paused, then glanced at Gaz curiously as he tilted his head. "... What is this act of human making out?" 

"You'll see." 


End file.
